Saturday, October 10, 2009

General Conference

Here are some quotes that I really liked
"However, some parents place undue priority on temporal and material possessions. Some are far less diligent in their efforts to immerse their children in the gospel of Jesus Christ.14 Remember that having religious observance in the home is as important as providing food, clothing, and shelter. Parents can also help children discover and develop their talents. We are responsible for the talents we have received. Children who are not taught that they are accountable for their time and talents are increasingly subject to the foolishness and unrighteousness that are so pervasive in the world."
Elder Quentin L. Cook
"Surprisingly, some patients become casual with their transplanted hearts. They skip their medicines here and there and obtain the needed follow-up less frequently than they should. They think that because they feel good, all is well. Too often this shortsighted attitude puts the patients at risk and shortens their lives....We all know of individuals who had this mighty change of heart but subsequently yielded to the natural man. They became casual in their worship and devotion to God, their hearts became hardened, and they thereby jeopardized their eternal salvation."
Elder Dale G. Renlund

"I am confident it is the intention of each member of the Church to serve and to help those in need. At baptism we covenanted to “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light.”8 How many times has your heart been touched as you have witnessed the need of another? How often have you intended to be the one to help? And yet how often has day-to-day living interfered and you’ve left it for others to help, feeling that “oh, surely someone will take care of that need.”

We become so caught up in the busyness of our lives. Were we to step back, however, and take a good look at what we’re doing, we may find that we have immersed ourselves in the “thick of thin things.” In other words, too often we spend most of our time taking care of the things which do not really matter much at all in the grand scheme of things, neglecting those more important causes....


I have wept in the night
For the shortness of sight
That to somebody’s need made me blind;
But I never have yet
Felt a tinge of regret
For being a little too kind."

President Thomas S. Monson

"One Saturday, I was to drive to the airport for a flight to a stake conference in California. But the cow was expecting a calf and in trouble. The calf was born, but the cow could not get up. We called the veterinarian, who soon came. He said the cow had swallowed a wire and would not live through the day.

I copied the telephone number of the animal by-products company so my wife could call them to come and get the cow as soon as she died.

Before I left, we had our family prayer. Our little boy said our prayer. After he had asked Heavenly Father to “bless Daddy in his travels and bless us all,” he then started an earnest plea. He said, “Heavenly Father, please bless Bossy cow so that she will get to be all right.”

In California, I told of the incident and said, “He must learn that we do not get everything we pray for just that easily.”

There was a lesson to be learned, but it was I who learned it, not my son. When I returned Sunday night, Bossy had “got to be all right.”"

Elder Boyd K. Packer

"When temptation comes, you can invent a delete key in your mind—perhaps the words from a favorite hymn. Your mind is in charge; your body is the instrument of your mind. When some unworthy thought pushes into your mind, replace it with your delete key. Worthy music is powerful and can help you control your thoughts."

..."Prayer is your personal key to heaven. The lock is on your side of the veil. And I have learned to conclude all my prayers with “Thy will be done”"

Elder Packer

This next talk by Elder Scott was my favorite, and an answer to prayers!

"They know that essential personal growth will come as you struggle to learn how to be led by the Spirit.

What may appear initially to be a daunting task will be much easier to manage over time as you consistently strive to recognize and follow feelings prompted by the Spirit. Your confidence in the direction you receive from the Holy Ghost will also become stronger. I witness that as you gain experience and success in being guided by the Spirit, your confidence in the impressions you feel can become more certain than your dependence on what you see or hear.

As each impression came, I carefully wrote it down. In the process, I was given precious truths that I greatly needed in order to be a more effective servant of the Lord...In that environment, strong impressions began to flow to me again. I wrote them down. The message included specific counsel on how to become more effective as an instrument in the hands of the Lord. I received such an outpouring of impressions that were so personal that I felt it was not appropriate to record them in the midst of a Sunday School class. I sought a more private location, where I continued to write the feelings that flooded into my mind and heart as faithfully as possible. After each powerful impression was recorded, I pondered the feelings I had received to determine if I had accurately expressed them in writing. As a result, I made a few minor changes to what had been written. Then I studied their meaning and application in my own life.
Subsequently I prayed, reviewing with the Lord what I thought I had been taught by the Spirit. When a feeling of peace came, I thanked Him for the guidance given. I was then impressed to ask, “Was there yet more to be given?” I received further impressions, and the process of writing down the impressions, pondering, and praying for confirmation was repeated. Again I was prompted to ask, “Is there more I should know?” And there was. When that last, most sacred experience was concluded, I had received some of the most precious, specific, personal direction one could hope to obtain in this life. Had I not responded to the first impressions and recorded them, I would not have received the last, most precious guidance....

You must exercise your agency to authorize the Spirit to teach you. As you make this a practice in your life, you will be more perceptive to the feelings that come with spiritual guidance. Then, when that guidance comes, sometimes when you least expect it, you will recognize it more easily....
Parents, be aware that the addiction of pornography can begin with youth at a very early age. Take preventative action to avoid that tragedy...
Have patience as you are perfecting your ability to be led by the Spirit. By careful practice, through the application of correct principles, and by being sensitive to the feelings that come, you will gain spiritual guidance. I bear witness that the Lord, through the Holy Ghost, can speak to your mind and heart. Sometimes the impressions are just general feelings. Sometimes the direction comes so clearly and so unmistakably that it can be written down like spiritual dictation."
Elder Richard G. Scott
The talk that followed was by Sister Matsumori and it was another favorite!
We can help others become more familiar with the promptings of the Spirit when we share our testimony of the influence of the Holy Ghost in our lives. Remember that some experiences are too sacred to relate. However, by sharing testimony of the Spirit in our lives, those who are unfamiliar with these promptings are more likely to recognize when they have similar feelings....

There are places where it is easier to feel the Spirit. Testimony meetings and general conference are some of those places. Certainly temples are another. The challenge for each of us is in providing an environment where the Spirit can be felt daily in our homes and weekly at church.

One reason we are encouraged to pray and read the scriptures every single day is that both of these activities invite the Spirit into our homes and into the lives of our family members.

Because the Spirit is often described as a still, small voice,11 it is also important to have a time of quiet in our lives as well. The Lord has counseled us to “be still, and know that I am God.”12 If we provide a still and quiet time each day when we are not bombarded by television, computer, video games, or personal electronic devices, we allow that still, small voice an opportunity to provide personal revelation and to whisper sweet guidance, reassurance, and comfort to us.

Similarly, we can provide an environment at church that allows the Spirit to give divine confirmation to what is being taught. Teachers and leaders do more than teach lessons or conduct meetings. They facilitate the whisperings of the Spirit to each member. Elder Richard G. Scott has said, “If you accomplish nothing else in your relationship with your students than to help them recognize and follow the promptings of the Spirit, you will bless their lives immeasurably and eternally.”....

A Sunbeam teacher wrapped each of her class members one by one in a blanket to teach them how the Spirit feels like the comfort and security of that covering. A visiting mother also heard the lesson.

Many months later the mother thanked the teacher. She told how she had been less active when she accompanied her young daughter to Primary. Several weeks after the lesson, the mother suffered a miscarriage. She was overcome with grief when suddenly she felt a great warmth and peace. It felt like someone had covered her with a warm blanket. She recognized the reassurance of the Spirit and knew that Heavenly Father was aware of her and that He loved her."

Sister Vicki F. Matsumori

I was very much enriched by conference and I'm trying to be a better person, like President Monson said.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

What's with this Anxiety?

I'm on Clomid this month and we are trying hard to get pregnant. around the time of ovulation I was super anxious, I think about the stress of hoping we were getting timing right. I am starting to feel really anxious again, maybe because there are only a few days left until we will know if we are pregnant. I really want to calm down and stop worrying about it. It is something I think about often, but I have faith that things are going to work out the way that they are supposed to. It's the same with selling our house. It will work out. There is a reason that it hasn't sold, and we will find out eventually. I am so glad that I get to stay home with Grant. He is such a joy to me. I need to calm down so I can be a good mother to him and a good wife to Tyson. Deep breathing, reading scriptures, napping, working outside, etc helps to calm me. I want to just not be anxious!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Anxiety

I am so anxious and I don't know why. It's been since yesterday. I can't get rid of the feeling. I've tried reading scriptures, listening to good music, exercising, and I slept from 10:30-6:30 last night, so it's not lack of sleep. It's crazy! I've been depressed lately. I can't seem to get in gear and accomplish things! I am having a hard time not knowing whether our house will sell or not. I know i need to have more faith. I'm going crazy!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Power of Prayer

Prayer changes things. It changes us. It brings us closer to God and makes us more like Him. Human creatures become more like Deity. That is the power of prayer.

Things I want to mention about prayer

BD- When we understand our relationship to God, praying becomes natural. We are talking to our Father.
Prayer is a way to access blessings He is ready to give us, but that are conditional on us asking.
Showing gratitude- mention Elder Bednar's talk and share story about miscarriage
Thy will be done- willing to accept what is happening because it is the will of the Lord, but then "being in an agony he prayed more earnestly" pray for strength to accept it!
Connecting morning, day, and evening prayers. Start out your day with heartfelt, meaningful, sincere prayer. Talk to Heavenly Father. Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings. Then notice when you are being helped. And pray in gratitude.
When I look back to when I was most spiritual (reference to Brother Stoddard's talk) I was praying a lot. And it was during a very hard time, usually. So during a happier time when you don't have as heavy of trials, perfect time to be Praying for others- power in prayer. Pray to notice others and then do it. Elder Bednar mentioned this too, Pray in Faith and then Act!
I absolutely believe that prayer has the power to help us in every way, obviously spiritually, but mentally, physically, and emotionally as well! I can think of times being prompted to respond to Grant or Tyson in a certain way.
"The Lord always suits the relief to the person in need to best strengthen and purify him or her." This really stood out to me in a RS lesson. It's a quote from President Eyring's talk on adversity in April 2009 conference. It answered millions of prayers from our first year of marriage. Tyson was suffering from depression and it was hard as newlyweds! I remember praying, begging for someone to call, drop by, ask how we were so I could unload on them what we were suffering. LOTS of tears were shed. I can think of so many many dark times, spent on my knees praying for help. Looking back, I see that my prayers were answered. No one came by, no one called. So that means we turned to each other. We helped each other through that trial and our marriage was strengthened. It has made me much more aware and compassionate to those suffering with mental illnesses. And it helped us learn to talk things over, to communicate, not to manipulate each other, to lean on one another and to depend on the Lord and have faith in Him. I don't know if those things would have been possible had my prayers been answered another way! There is power in prayer, and sometimes we don't see it until after. Wow, this is eye-opening.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Prayer









































Isn't this picture cute? It's from "The Friend"

The Bible Dictionary says prayer is asking for blessings God is willing to give but are conditional upon us asking. That makes me wonder about our house selling. We haven't really prayed specifically for anything. We figure however it works out is what's supposed to happen. But maybe we need to take a more active stance. We need to decide if we are willing and ready to move and if it will be the best thing for our family. And if so, we need to specifically ask for that blessing, and often. The lingering between staying or going is kind of stressful. We'll see.

People who consistently seem to affirm, validate, motivate, and nourish those around them

From "A Heart Like His" page 68-69, I am supposed to write down the names of people who consistently seem to affirm, validate, motivate, and nourish those around them and perhaps a specific encounter with such a person.
The first person that comes to mind is my aunt K. I'll think of an experience later.
Others: Aunt G, husband, CKL (friend from hs), AK (neighbor, ward member, friend)... I'm having a hard time with this.
Okay, example Aunt K- almost every time I talk to her, she says something about how she loves my husband and she loves me, but she loves us together even more. It makes me feel good about my choice in a husband (I already feel great, lucky, blessed, but it's always good to hear other people agree!) and it makes me appreciate husband more and want to work as a team more. I really do love my husband! And it is fun that he has such versatile interests. It's keeps our life exciting!
Aunt G- I can't think of anything she's specifically said, but I remember the way I always felt around her. Special, important, loved. How did she do that? I've thought on this one many times trying to figure it out. I think it's because I felt safe around her. I didn't feel her judging me. Plus when we were little, she'd take us to do fun and special things!
Husband- he always disagrees when I say I'm bad at ________ (enter anything here). He tells me I look great when I feel ugly. He has confidence in me and I feel like I can do more because he thinks I can. :) He's sweet. I love him!
CKL- I'm not sure on this one, but I guess I can't think of her ever talking badly about anyone. She's really positive and looks for the good in others. She's not afraid to risk when it comes to love and I think that's help shape the person she's become.
AK- Learning the violin makes me feel vulnerable, but A validates my efforts. She makes me feel normal. She treats me like a friend, even though she's older than me and feels like my mentor. And she is a nourisher. I watch her with her children.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Quote from "A Heart Like His"

I feel this way often!

"I am blessed, personally, beyond measure, and yet oddly enough, I, too struggle to feel His love for me every day. When I stack my obstacles against others' they seem too frivolous to be authentic. And yet, this mortal existence is designed by a genius, so that we all, no matter our circumstances or parentage of gifts, have to exercise our agency to come to Him. And so though my problems may seem small to an outsider, they are big enough for me to desperately need Him."

Virginia Pearce

Thoughts on Prayer

I was asked to give a 5-minute talk about the power of prayer at an enrichment activity coming up next week. I've spent that last few minutes reading talks my prophets and apostles on prayer. I feel so uplifted and encouraged. I am so grateful for the knowledge the gospel brings of my relationship with Heavenly Father. I think it was Elder Bednar who said when we truly understand and realize our relationship to God- that we are His children, prayer becomes very natural. (Quoted from the Bible Dictionary)
I remembered while reading this talk about offering prayers of gratitude only, that I did that very thing right after the miscarriage. I remember saying a prayer of the things I was grateful for. And I remember that prayer being very full, heartfelt, and long! It brought the Spirit into my life in a way that couldn't happen otherwise.
I am beginning to realize the possibility of "praying always." As I become closer to Heavenly Father, I recognize opportunities to pray more often. Does that make sense? On good days, I am constantly praying. Thanking, asking for help with Grant, for help with church callings, for Tyson at work, for relationships with others, etc. Those are the days that I am most uplifted.
I can think of LOTS of prayers for help in finding something. About once a week, I think I ask for help finding keys, wallet, phone, etc. Once it was a very desperate prayer to find my wedding ring. It had been tossed into the garbage along with an empty bag. I was prompted to check there, and when I pushed some garbage aside, there was the ring at the bottom of the can.
I've prayed for patience with Grant and for understanding with Tyson. My life is enriched and extremely blessed because of prayer.
I have felt closer to Aunt Ginny and others who have gone before me. I have been helped with practicing music. I remember once during an organ practice being extremely frustrated. I was in tears because I simply could not conquer a certain piece of music. I prayed and prayed for help. The Spirit gently reminded me that sometimes I just have to work hard. That I could be successful, but I was going to have to work at it. I practiced and practiced and eventually was able to play the song successfully.
I learned about prayer today. Grant was giving the prayer before lunch. He said he was grateful for the park, where we had just spent an hour at earlier that morning. It was so simple. He already understands that we thank for the things that help bring us happiness. It was precious and something I want to remember.
I am rambling, but more thoughts to come, I think.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Stress

I kept telling myself that this happens all the time. People go through much worse. And besides, probably we can get pregnant again and it won't matter. I didn't really address my deep emotions. Now that my "stress" from the situation is manifesting itself in a scary way, I realize how much I still hurt. I don't know why, and I realize that it is a very common trial. Miscarriage. I can name 10 people off the top of my head who have gone through it. And all of them are doing fine. I think. But I still get very emotional when I truly think about it. It seems to get harder the longer it's been, maybe because we haven't been able to get pregnant yet. I want to find the answer to why I am still hurting, but maybe what I need to do is acknowledge that I am and allow myself to grieve longer. It is hard to go through it! It's hard that it's gone. I just started to remember all the changes my body goes through when I'm pregnant. I was just starting to get used to having another little one. I was starting to anticipate and be nervous and excited. I thought all the time about being a mom to two and what that would be like. I think I thought about it more than I realized. And you know what else is hard? People all around me keep having babies! My good friends and neighbors. I am so happy for them, but it is so hard. Emma Smith must have endured a lot of pain. She was such a neat person.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Happy Day

Today is my sister's birthday. Happy birthday to her!

Freedom

Sorry, I should stop posting. But it is so freeing! No one will ever read this, it's like a journal, only better! I don't usually feel like I am myself while I write in my journal. It's sort of rigid feeling. But this is awesome. Much closer to the real me. I think.

List

Now seriously, I want to answer those questions from the previous post. What things are important to me? I don't want to regret how I spend my time. Because there is always the chance that we are called Home sooner than we expected. I need to overcome my natural tendencies and do what God has in mind for me.
Things that are important to me:
My husband and letting him know how much I love him
My son and teaching him how to come to Christ
my testimony
my standing with God
my family- parents, siblings, in-laws, extended...
relationships with people
music- the violin and piano
learning and reading


I'm sure there's more to add to the list, but for now I just need to reflect on how I spend my time. If these things are important to me, then every single minute I spend should somehow reflect it.

I am a planner-girl. I love to-do lists and crossing off items makes me happy. But am I spending my time wisely? Am I going to be one of the foolish virgins who didn't have oil sufficient to last the night?











I need to simplify.

Edited: I feel like I should add "share the gospel with others" to that list. I don't know why I feel like I can't do it or don't know how or would never say the right thing or do the right thing or follow a prompting. It should be important to me because I know how much it blesses me. I want others to know about it. I am afraid. I need to fix this.

What if...

How would I live differently if I knew that I didn't have much time on earth? What would I spend my time doing? Who would I want to be with, to call or visit? Where would I be? And what would be the driving force, the motives, the reasons I would do anything? I can answer that question better now that ever before. I don't really know why, but I have felt my testimony strengthen greatly in the past year or so. I know Heavenly Father much more than I did before. And I know He is mindful of me and everyone. I am always so touched by small events that illustrate that He cares about His children, including me. His tender mercies are evident in every part of my life.