Stress

I kept telling myself that this happens all the time. People go through much worse. And besides, probably we can get pregnant again and it won't matter. I didn't really address my deep emotions. Now that my "stress" from the situation is manifesting itself in a scary way, I realize how much I still hurt. I don't know why, and I realize that it is a very common trial. Miscarriage. I can name 10 people off the top of my head who have gone through it. And all of them are doing fine. I think. But I still get very emotional when I truly think about it. It seems to get harder the longer it's been, maybe because we haven't been able to get pregnant yet. I want to find the answer to why I am still hurting, but maybe what I need to do is acknowledge that I am and allow myself to grieve longer. It is hard to go through it! It's hard that it's gone. I just started to remember all the changes my body goes through when I'm pregnant. I was just starting to get used to having another little one. I was starting to anticipate and be nervous and excited. I thought all the time about being a mom to two and what that would be like. I think I thought about it more than I realized. And you know what else is hard? People all around me keep having babies! My good friends and neighbors. I am so happy for them, but it is so hard. Emma Smith must have endured a lot of pain. She was such a neat person.